I wrote this post a while back and had I known how many people would read it and how many excellent questions and comments I’d continue to receive, I would have addressed the subject more exhaustively.  And yet, the fact that I wrote with admittedly broad strokes about such a complex issue has prompted readers to produce an awesome archive of thoughtful, challenging, heartbreaking, and irritating responses from which we can all learn.  So that’s good news.

One particularly compelling question has come up repeatedly.  Several commenters have suggested that no one in an oppressively homophobic culture would ever engage in homosexual relationships unless they were born gay, because doing so means risking isolation, violence, and even death.  Some have testified about their personal experiences as gay men or lesbians who came out despite their homophobic context, and even despite their own wishes.  I want to take a bit of…