Two nongender skeletons embrace each other lovingly

Care v. Romance


Sometimes we call healthy relationships romantic, but I’d say that is a misnomer.

When you see two people really fawning over each other—at best, it is authentic care. At worst, it is genuine romance. I say at worst because “romance” has so many harmful elements. The very notion as developed is not about caring connections but about persistent masculinity capturing resistant femininity. Healthy being-together involves opening-up freely not because of trickery, or anxiety, or gaslighting, or even arousal.

I am not saying, STOP MAKING LOVING GESTURES before you are a slave of the Hallmark Network!!! I’m not suggesting that anyone stop making gestures that demonstrate love.

I am saying stop confusing “manipulating an object of attraction to possess IT” with “embracing ANOTHER PERSON through, with, and in loving-care.“

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