APPLETON, WI—Less than 24 hours after their god bestowed two delicious orange slices upon them, local ants reported the capricious deity had picked up the entire ant farm in which they live and shaken it violently, leaving many to wonder what they had done to incur the all-powerful being’s deadly wrath.

“Yesterday, when we received his bountiful gift of sweet fruit, we thought we had pleased him mightily with the tireless labors of our digging,” worker ant #103 said Saturday as she helped to rebuild the underground passages and chambers the vengeful god had completely decimated without warning. “But now he has laid waste to everything we, his followers, have erected to his glory. Why? Why has he done this to us?”

via Capricious God Violently Shakes Ant Farm Day After Bestowing Orange Slices Upon Colony | The Onion – America’s Finest News Source.

 

Keith "Maggie" Brown Avatar

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