Capricious God Violently Shakes Ant Farm Day After Bestowing Orange Slices Upon Colony | The Onion – America’s Finest News Source


APPLETON, WI—Less than 24 hours after their god bestowed two delicious orange slices upon them, local ants reported the capricious deity had picked up the entire ant farm in which they live and shaken it violently, leaving many to wonder what they had done to incur the all-powerful being’s deadly wrath.

“Yesterday, when we received his bountiful gift of sweet fruit, we thought we had pleased him mightily with the tireless labors of our digging,” worker ant #103 said Saturday as she helped to rebuild the underground passages and chambers the vengeful god had completely decimated without warning. “But now he has laid waste to everything we, his followers, have erected to his glory. Why? Why has he done this to us?”

via Capricious God Violently Shakes Ant Farm Day After Bestowing Orange Slices Upon Colony | The Onion – America’s Finest News Source.

 

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.